All to often teacher's find themselves so focused on the grades a student has that they forget to notice the student behind the grade. I know I have been guilty but this last semester a personal tragedy with one of my students reminded me of the importance of the relationship with the students. It was the beginning of a long weekend for the students but the teacher's were not off, we were required to be at school for training and a teacher workday. The training began that day with an announcement of a fatal car accident that involved several students from our school. One of my students was sitting next to a young boy who died in the accident. After the shock I drop everything to go visit with this student and make sure she knew that I was there for her. I was amazed that her first concern was that she would miss school and get behind in my class. The words that I spoke next changed everything for our relationship, I told her, "somethings are more important than school" and you are one of those things. She understood, she would always have an A with me no matter what her grade in my class. I really love when my relationships with my students progress to this point but for most students it takes almost the whole school year before we get to this point. The message of the first three chapter of Zander's book, "The Art of Possibility" is that this can be a paradigmatic shift toward a non-judgmental lifestyle.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
EMD613 Week 1: Giving An "A"
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Amen, Gary, relationships are more important than school... especially grades. I'm glad that you were able to share that with your students.
ReplyDeleteBTW, love the look of your blog site, very inviting.
You are right. It really does take time to cultivate those types of relationships with our students. I am now at the point where the students see that I care regardless of what their final grade is. I am at the point where I see them caring about their product because they care what I think. I am at the point in the year where they truly begin to appreciate all that we have done throughout the year to make learning an interactive, hands-on experience. These are the moments that propel me to keep on trying, keep on pushing to inspire them as well as myself, keep on forging and developing a relationship of mutual respect.
ReplyDeleteI have also been trying to apply the "Giving an A" philosophy with my students, but also with my husband and daughter. I have to learn to accept that if people are doing their best then I cannot ask more of them. I agree with your statement that the comprehension of the points from the book can truly be the opening to the change that occurs when we begin to take people as they are, allowing them to truly flourish in a comfortable, non-judgmental environment.